Families of September 11 Victims Speak Out
Both Beverly and John seek peace after loosing loved ones on September 11, 2001.
Article was added
to FaithandValues.com in May 2004
By Beverly Eckert and John Titus
Beverly Eckert’s husband called her from the 105th floor of
the World Trade Center moments before it collapsed. John Titus’s daughter was
in the plane that brought it down. Over the last two years, both have found
healing by opening their hearts to others who have suffered. Beverly’s story is
here. John’s is here.
Both writers are members of Peaceful Tomorrows, an organization founded by family members of September 11th victims whose goal is (in their own words) “to turn our grief into action for peace. Our mission is to seek effective, nonviolent solutions to terrorism, and to acknowledge our common experience with all people similarly affected by violence throughout the world. By conscientiously exploring peaceful options in our search for justice, we hope to spare additional families the suffering we have experienced—as well as to break the cycle of violence and retaliation engendered by war. In doing so, we work to create a safer world for the present and future generations.”
To Make a Better World
by Beverly Eckert
Eckert delivered a longer version of this speech in Battery Park, New York City, on August 8, 2003, to a crowd that included survivors of Nagasaki.
On September 11, 2001, my husband Sean
called me from the 105th floor of the World Trade Center. The fates, in their
mercy, granted us enough time to say what we needed to say to each other before
the building collapsed and he was carried to his death.
That day my husband became something very
alien to the America experience. He became a “civilian casualty.” And because
of that, I found that I had become something different, too—a member of a
worldwide community numbering in the millions, whose lives have been torn apart
by the effects of man’s inhumanity to man.
The pain I felt that day transcended anger. It
transcended the boundaries of my safe and orderly world and propelled me into
the maelstrom of what I now know is a far truer reality—one shared by countless
others who have suffered when political, religious or cultural entities find
ways to justify annihilation as a tactic to achieve their goals.
On September 11, 2001, America was thrust into
sisterhood with countries and peoples she had once helped, as well as countries
and peoples she had once hurt. And so September 11th was a beginning. My
husband died because he was an American and I’m here today so I can help ensure
that when history looks back in judgment on this new century, the word American
will have stood for something righteous and good.
Today I have hope, for September 11th has mobilized
so many to further the cause of peace—and not only from among the living The
voices of the dead call out for an end to violence and hatred. They tell us to
rise above our fear in order to have a coherent and compassionate dialogue
about the root causes of murderous strife. They tell us that we need to shed
our doubts about what a mere handful of believers can do. They tell us that
amid the ashes that covered this city two years ago, and amid the blood-soaked
killing fields in countless nations overseas, we will find the wisdom, grace,
unity and strength we need so that on some future September 11th, when we look
around us, we will see a better world.
Finding Peace amidst Tragedy and Pain
By John Titus
John Titus’s daughter, Alicia, flew out of Boston on the
morning of September 11, 2001 and was killed when her plane struck the World
Trade Center. Her unwitting father watched the tragedy unfold on TV. In the
article below (an abridgement of an address given in May 2003, at Kalamazoo
College), he reflects on the ongoing struggle to come to terms with his loss.
….Grief is such an all-encompassing and personal
process. Although there are similarities in the actual process of grief, many
factors come into play as it unfolds. Initially, shock and disbelief help
protect you from the searing pain, a pain that has the power to destroy, a pain
that reduces your life-force energy, destroys joy, laughter, innocence, trust
and causes one to question everything that was heretofore sacred. Sadness and
pain of this magnitude can send a person into a downward spiral of depression
and desolation—into a deep abyss whose walls seem impossible to scale. Many
times you find yourself on the precipice and feel the powerful pull of the dark
abyss that longs to consume. Yet even in the midst of all of this, even in my
deepest moment of despair, I could feel the presence of goodness and truth, I
could feel the love that so many people were sending us, I could feel the power
of God, and a glimmer of hope did flicker like a candle in the wind. I was not
alone!
And through it all, I was absolutely certain that I
would not want to be responsible for another father’s grief of losing an innocent
child to the political machinery of war and destruction. Compassion had found
its way into my heart and I could feel a new hope coming out of the rubble; a
new hope that goodness and truth would overcome hate and deception. A new hope
that would arise because of what had happened! I could feel it all around. I
had been given a precious gift and I could see beyond the hateful act of angry
terrorists, beyond the need for revenge, beyond the fear and anger that seemed
so prevalent, beyond my own pain of the worst loss imaginable. I had somehow
been given a glimpse into the Divine and I could feel it in my soul. My purpose
in life had now shone forth and made itself manifest. Alicia had passed me the
torch of truth, and love would give me strength to travel the road less
traveled.
My daughter, Alicia, lived in peace with all of God’s
creation. She longed for a world in which we could all just get along. She
openly embraced diversity and saw the world as a rich tapestry of people of
differing shapes and colors all woven into one big beautiful creation. She
never stood in judgment of others but looked beyond the appearance into the
very soul of the other and touched their heart. She could see the presence of
the Divine in others. Many people told us that she would light up a room with
her mere presence and stated that her smile was one by which to measure all
other smiles against. Her joy was effervescent, her smile contagious. Her sense
of peace was pervasive.
I am not a pacifist. I have sought to understand the
principles of non-violence and have tremendous respect for those heroes who
have used these means to overcome oppression and war, but I have a hard time
letting others run over me and have, in the past, struck back rather than turn
the other cheek. As I grow in understanding and love, I’ve since learned that
there are very effective nonviolent solutions to conflict and fully support
that approach. I believe that the perpetrators of this heinous act of murder
that killed my Alicia and 3000 others should be made accountable and brought to
justice. Yet I am totally opposed to the killing of innocent children and
families to achieve this. We must find a better way of resolving conflict and
stop the senseless killing!
Throughout my grieving process, it has become
abundantly clear that the cycle of violence must stop. That hate only produces
more hate and violence begets more violence. In this day and age of advanced
technology, we have the capability to destroy each other and to decimate our
planet. But do we have the strength, the will and the spiritual understanding
to overcome violence? If we believe that we are a part of God’s creation, is it
not possible to grow in love and in wisdom to a place that seeks out nonviolent
means for overcoming our ideological differences? As the late and great Dr.
Martin Luther King, Jr. stated, “only love can overcome hate.” And, from my
experience as a grieving father of a beautiful, loving, peaceful, gentle soul
whose life was taken by forces of hate and violence, love guided by wisdom is
the only solution…
Compassion is a gift that comes out of tragedy. Yet,
not all people are ready to receive it. Anger, a natural response to the pain
of loss, often consumes people and drives them obsessively. In my grief,
well-meaning people would tell me that I needed to get angry. But all I could
feel was sadness and pain. I couldn’t see how anger would help me heal, and
revenge seemed so pointless. It would not bring Alicia back and it would not
make me feel better. I had searched my heart and looked to God to find
forgiveness. I realized that forgiveness was not about condoning the actions of
another, it was about me letting go of a cancerous growth that would soon
destroy me if I let it run its course. But forgiveness was the miracle that
allowed me to feel peace in my heart.
I pray for peace. I pray for George Bush and his
advisors. I pray for the leaders of the world. And, I pray for my enemies. I
alone cannot change how they view the world or what motivates them to do the
things they do. But if every person in the world who believes in a Higher
Power—the one God who stands for goodness and mercy, the one God whose love is
the very essence of life itself—would work together, we could find a way toward
peace. We could stop the bloodshed! And, perhaps my remaining children, my
grandchildren and your children could live on an “earth as it is in heaven”
without the threat of being murdered, without hate and mistrust, without fear
and avarice.
I will not allow the death of Alicia and the 3000 other victims of September 11th, nor victims of war in Afghanistan or Iraq die in vain! I will not settle for a world in which distrust and fear create a widening chasm between my brothers and sisters, who happen to look, believe and think differently than me. I am my brother’s keeper! And, “my brother” includes all of humankind: Iraqis, Afghanis, Syrians, North Koreans, Iranians as well as Americans. We are all interconnected through God. We are all part of the “Great Mystery” as our Lakota brothers call God. Until we accept that reality, we will always find reasons to justify any act of outrage including murder. Let us break down the barriers that serve to divide us, put forth efforts to understand and accept those people different from us, and join together in a state of peace that sees no need for weapons of mass destruction but a need for tools of mass construction. Let us learn from the tragedy of September 11th and the resultant tragedies that continue on today before we destroy all that is good and each other. Let us go in peace.